How to Overcome Excuses in 6 Steps

We are taught that excuses are something to feel ashamed of, something to fight against, but what if I told you they could be used to learn more about yourself and can actually help you move towards success?

We often have excuses for why we can’t do things -

whether it’s a lack of time, money, energy, or the knowledge of how to do something. This can become a cycle of “Once I have x I can do y”, but this cycle only leads to inactivity and unhappiness. 

With just a few steps we can break this cycle and use our excuses to take charge and make changes towards the life we want:

The first step is to acknowledge our excuses,

and that means to be present with them. Say your excuse is that you don’t have enough money; instead of dwelling on that reality, simply ask yourself how you could get more money. Use this acknowledgment of your excuses to become present and to explore possibilities. 

Often when we are presented with obstacles that hinder us from being able to do something we can feel powerless and frustrated, but giving in to the frustration only fuels the excuse; which leads me to my next step.

Let go of shame.

We hold a lot of shame over our excuses, especially when we’ve been trying to succeed at something for a while and haven’t yet. We may ask ourselves “What am I doing wrong?”. And obviously if the answer to that was known changes would be made so that success could be reached quicker. This unknowing is frustrating, and that frustration is valid.

But it doesn’t need to be a part of your Thrive journey. 

One of the best ways to rid yourself of shame is to confront the source; and the best way to do that is to ask yourself “Why do I feel shame about this? What am I avoiding? What am I giving power to?”. 

We are capable of making things more difficult for ourselves, and striving to achieve a goal is already difficult enough; but by focusing on the negatives we only attract more negatives and thus only feed into the cycle. Shifting out of that cycle can be hard especially when we are facing challenges, but choosing confrontation over avoidance allows us to push through the discomfort. 

By detaching shame from our excuses, through confronting it at the source, we can learn to accept where we are in our journey. We sometimes tell ourselves that things are supposed to go a certain way, and when it doesn’t it can be discouraging. But by accepting your excuses you can meet yourself where you are rather than expecting yourself to be in a different circumstance. 

Accepting your circumstance is essential. If you have succeeded in something before, but struggle to do so under your current circumstances, that’s okay. If you are feeling overwhelmed and tired despite not making much progress, that’s okay.

This is just what it means to be human; and if you’re not showing yourself acceptance or if you’re feeling shame over your excuses then you are not truly meeting yourself where you’re at. Showing yourself acceptance over your excuses improves your self-talk, and when you improve how you think and speak to yourself then you take away power from your excuses and the cycle they can create. 

Improving self-talk is an act of self-responsibility, which is our next step.

Taking responsibility over our thoughts and beliefs allows us to really take control over our reality. When we struggle with our goals and our self-talk is negative that hints that there is something within you that is creating that reality.

You may not feel worthy, or you struggle to believe that you can succeed, or maybe you’re waiting for the circumstances to be just right; but by doing so you are giving power to these negative thoughts. And believe it or not, you have the power to choose what you believe, and it all starts with taking responsibility for the way you think. 

And this leads us to the last step; You can make mindful choices to accept your current position, or you can choose to take steps to change it. The choice is yours and you can choose to believe in yourself and not settle for anything less than what you seek to achieve. By making mindful choices you get to choose what you give power to, you get to choose what you believe, and you can create a reality of success. 

“Once you no longer give power to excuses you can start to envision and embody a different reality”. 

Although these steps may help you make the changes needed in order to Thrive, I encourage you to allow yourself to need help.

We often think that we need to go about these things alone and tell ourselves “I should be able to do this myself”; but when things become difficult don’t give in to the frustration, and be courageous enough to ask for help. 

Coaching can be a great way to receive the help you may need, and it’s a way to further invest in yourself. Just like removing shame around our excuses we need to remove the shame around needing help. It is not necessary to wait until you are at your worst to seek help.

At any stage of your Thrive journey you are allowed to need help, and having a coach in your corner can provide you a new perspective that could facilitate your growth and success.

If you're ready to take the next step [or even if you aren't sure what the next step is] feel free to DM me @jonnie_agresta so we can chat about it!